


Anchor

by welovehutcherson



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Bulimia, Eating Disorders, F/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29434863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welovehutcherson/pseuds/welovehutcherson
Summary: Katniss Everdeen is a struggling college student, battling an eating disorder and her painful past. Peeta Mellark is the name that's on everyone's lips, a wildly successful actor and sex symbol, hardly someone who should be interested in a girl like Katniss. Slow Burn AU.
Relationships: Annie Cresta/Finnick Odair, Gale Hawthorne/Madge Undersee, Haymitch Abernathy/Mrs. Everdeen, Katniss Everdeen & Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	1. Things I'll Never Say

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! I wasn't planning to post this fic in a long time, but I really wanted to publish it as I've been really enjoying writing it and I want to share it with you guys! I know it's probably not the best but I do hope that you enjoy the first chapter out of many to come!

I huff in protest as my alarm rings out, awaking me after I had finally retained a somewhat peaceful dream, instead of the constant nightmares that plague me during the night, the only thing bringing me comfort being my cat, Buttercup, who was trying to nuzzle himself under my covers, desperate to press himself up against me.  
Buttercup hates me. And I hate him too. It was only in the early mornings, when he was so desperate for warmth when the apartment was crisp and cool. It was about the only time he and I actually got along! And if it were Sunday, I'd welcome it, stroking his soft ginger fur. But it’s Saturday, and I have an early morning shift.  
Procrastination kicks in and I reach out to check my phone, noticing a text from my ex-boyfriend, Gale. 

Gale: Hey Catnip

I frown, unsure how to respond to a message with such an empty yet such a huge meaning to it. We hadn't spoken in months but this text, despite how late he actually sent it, showed that he wanted open up communication with me, to have a shot at being friends again, like we used to.  
I was never very good at friends, always saying or doing the wrong thing to make them hate me. But Gale never seemed to hate me at all, and at one point, he was admittedly my only friend.  
Gale is admittedly, the most handsome man I thin I've ever seen. Incredibly tall, almost 6"5, with a muscular physique, dark olive skin, coal black hair and piercing silver eyes. Both coming from the Seam, we look extremely similar, some assuming that we are actually cousins- a rumour is one we both still despise to this day.  
At first, we barely said two words to each other. We both wanted the company when we were in the woods but not necessarily someone interesting to talk to. It was often lonely hunting for long hours by oneself, so Gale was the perfect partner.  
Twelve, our home district, was split into two halves- the Seam and the Merchants.  
The Seam was the poorest part of Twelve, where everything was covered in a layer of coal dust from the mines, that eventually killed both of our fathers. It still haunts me to see the streets of the Seam crowded with tired and worn-down coal miners heading to work, just as the sun peaked its head over the horizon.  
This is why the two of us resorted to hunting animals in the forest just outside of our district. As it gave us food and our trade gave us money to pay the bills with, which kept Gale out of the mines.  
Quick and impulsive, he was, with a talent of crafting snares to capture his victims. Whilst I was small and slight and was able to sneak up on numerous animals that were lurking in the woods.  
Slowly, I gained confidence and we began to talk. Our conversations were limited to how we hunt and our favourite people to trade with. Soon we began to trade together, putting our game in a bag and exchanging it at the hob or with the merchants.  
Gale enjoyed trading with Greasy Sae, who would turn the animals into delicious dishes, like chunky deer soup, a favourite of both of us.  
I liked trading with the owner of the bakery, a lucrative family business from the Merchant half of Twelve. The Merchant section was a centre for trading and buying goods.  
We’d trade wild turkey for immense sized bread loaves stuffed with dried fruit and a variety of nuts. My favourite treat were these minute cheese buns the baker’s son often put into the basket of goods his father prepared.  
We were two strangers, who had this unspoken love and devotion for each other.  
It was when Gale decided to get a degree at Panem University when it happened.  
I was shocked to say the least, I hated that they were taking him away from me, the only good thing in my life except from my sister.  
And when he told me, I jumped into his strong arms. He cradled me, his smooth lips in the crook of my neck. Slowly he lifted his head up. Our eyes locked together, the space between us closed with the touch of our lips. He was soft and gentle, telling me that I was his and he was mine.  
I never wanted to leave his grasp.  
However, we soon realised that long distance was not good for us. I could tell that Gale was slipping away from me, and even when I started going to Panem University myself as a mature student, it just didn’t work.  
We parted good friends, but we haven’t said a single word to each other since he became Madge Undersee’s boyfriend. I don't even know if I could still talk to him without things being weird or uncomfortable. 

Katniss: Hi Gale

It took my ten minutes to type that in response, and I wasn't very satisfied with it either, but I had to leave the comfort of my cosy bed in the next two minutes, determined not to be late for my shift at work. Luckily, I wasn’t too late when I finally arrived.  
I look a mess, my hair thick with grease, the circles under my eyes blacker than usual, my nightmares keeping awake half the night, depriving me of the sleep I so desired.  
Rue handed me my green apron as I came over to her, a weak smile on her face.  
“Hung over?” I smirk, noticing the similar dark circles under her eyes and the sharp smell of vodka coming from her hot breath. “How did you guess?” she grinned sleepily, rubbing her eyes with the heel pad of her hand.  
Rue is a few years younger than I am. I’m only twenty-three yet I envy Rue’s youthful, skin, the dark, satiny colour of it making her golden, sparkling eyes stand out beautifully. Her hair was neatly styled in long box braids that hung just above her waist, some of which decorated with silver rings.  
“You would catch alight if I lit a match, that’s how I know.” I chuckle as I head towards the door, turning the sign from closed to open. She pouts, folding her arms, pretending like she’s cross with me. “Oh come on Kat, it was just a party.” she rolls her eyes at me, knowing that I'm a prude when coming to alcohol.  
I just hate it, for no reason other than it tastes disgusting- except from the occasional glass of wine.  
“It’s also wildly irresponsible, especially with your early morning shift the next day.” I note, sitting on the counter and swinging myself over so that we were facing each other again. Rue looked almost half asleep, sat next to the coffee machine, slumped against the wall with her eyes half shut.  
“Oh, you’re no fun.” she scowls at me before a sudden exuberant look appears on her face, her eyes wide with excitement, “Anyways you’ll never guess who kissed me last night.”  
“I don’t know, who’s that girl you’re always lusting after?” I frown, waiting for another ten-minute discussion about this girl in Rue’s biophysics class that she can’t stop drooling after. I’ve only been working here a week, and I've already been subjected to numerous discussions about how her eyes are like the stars.  
“I can’t help being in love Kat...” she insists but the rest of what she says is drowned out when the bell on the door rings. I turn around to see frankly the most gorgeous man I think I have ever laid my eyes on, beating out Gale and his charming good looks.  
He looks like a movie star, some sort of Sex God.  
There was something about his appearance that felt so familiar. I recognise him from somewhere, but I just can’t seem to put my finger on it.  
He had ashy blonde hair that fell in waves over his forehead, slightly masking his sky-blue eyes. This man was quite short, yet he still towered over me, his muscular arms and chiselled features more than making up for his height. He was exceptionally beautiful looking, with features I would die for, like his button nose, his perfect plump lips that I can imagine would be great for kissing... or maybe other things.  
"No Katniss", my brain reminds me, "Stop being dirty and just act normal."  
I feel Rue nudging me with her foot, a definitive revenge for zoning out halfway through our conversation but also to stop me from acting like a complete idiot in front of this man.  
“Hey welcome to the Espresso Express, what can I get for you this fine morning?” I plaster on a fake smile eventually, jumping off the counter to face him. Trying to remain professional, I ignore the want I have for him to push me against the wall, branding my body with his wet kisses.  
“You don’t have to fake a smile with me, I'm not that fussy.” he says warmly, and I can’t help my breath hitching out how soft and dreamy his voice is. Again, I try to shake the sound of his voice calling out my name in one long breathy moan from my filthy mind.  
I feel my face drop almost immediately to its usual scowl and the man gives a small chuckle. “I see smiling is not your forte.” he teases me, and I swear that if it was any other person, I would probably mumble something rude about them under my breath. Maybe it was my vagina talking, but there was something about this man that was so charming and addicting that I couldn’t bring myself to do it even if I tried.  
“No- not really, but then again, people aren’t really my thing either.” I add, beginning to play with some plastic cups we use to make smoothies so that I had something to distract myself from the tenseness in my heart, like someone was squeezing it, and the growing, irritating ache between my legs.  
“Oh, that’s a shame.” he says, and I know he’s only joking, but I can’t help but detect a little bit of disappointment behind his voice. “Well, most people, you’re... alright.” I land on, hating that I can’t think of something better and flirtatious to say to him, something that makes me memorable. I bet he’s used to having many girls fail to flirt with him, all incredibly flustered.  
“Lucky for you...” he says, before leaning in and reading the name tag on my apron, “Katniss Everdeen... I strive for nothing but adequacy.” he chuckles, giving me a small grin and the minute dimple that appears is enough to make me weak at the knees at this perfect man standing before me.  
“Speaking of adequacy, what drink do you need me to make for you?” I ask, remembering that he wasn’t here to watch me pathetically try to hide how much I want his dick inside of me. “I’m sorry to say I’ve got a long list of orders for you.” he says, and I roll my eyes almost immediately, which most would find off putting, but he seems to find this almost amusing.  
“Wouldn’t have pegged you for a coffee addict.” I say as he hands me this list full of random drinks on the menu from the bag of his pocket. “Nah, I hate coffee with the passion, I'm the tea.” he says and points to the ‘tea, milk no sugar’ written at the bottom of the long list.  
“Why’re you ordering so much coffee then?” I ask nosily, still trying to keep up as much conversation as I can. “Are you an intern of some sort?” I add and I can hear Rue giggling to herself. It must be so obvious how pathetic and desperate I am.  
“No- no I'm an actor, the caterers hadn't arrived yet so I offered to get coffee for the crew cos I arrived on set too earlu.” he smirks, and I nod. Rue lets out a small “aww” of admiration but I just feel pity for him- a struggling actor in the Capitol- I definitely don’t envy his position at all.  
I want to be a doctor, like my mother, and Panem definitely is in need of more of them. But there are plenty of people slumming it in the poorer areas of the Capitol, begging on their knees to get a line in a local commercial.  
“Oh- I'm sorry- it must be difficult to be a young actor in the Capitol because there are so many of them with your look.” I try to show him that I'm sympathetic and understand his pain, but I’m aware I just seem rude and almost chastising. “I’m sorry- that came out ruder than expected.” I apologise, walking away so I can fill the machine with coffee beans, not having to face him.  
“No- no you’re fine.” the man says as I put the americano pods into the other coffee machine, scowling at Rue who was on her phone, still laughing at me. “It’s not your fault the circle of actors is so small anyways.” I say softly, wanting to make him feel better about his terrible predicament, most likely an eager over achiever who’s trying to play nice to get a line in whatever they’re filming.  
“Is that right?” he quirks his brow so flawlessly that I almost melt into the ground at how perfect he looks in this moment.  
“Whose fault is it then?” he asks, and I shrug, “All those young actors in Hollywood- the ones that get cast in everything.” I say, pouring the coffee into the cups, sending a small glare to Rue who hadn’t offered to help me at all.  
“My little sister, Prim, is obsessed with an actor called- oh God what’s his name... Peeta Mellark! That's it- Peeta Mellark- and she said all the good roles go to him.” I stammer, shaking my head as I vaguely remember the blonde man's smiley face hung on her bedroom wall, a face incredibly similar to the man standing before me.  
“Is that a bad thing?” he questions, smiling in almost amusement at me. “I don’t know- I find it a little selfish if you ask me.” I tell him bluntly as I place the lids on top of the cups before adding some cappuccino pods into the coffee maker. I hear a small gasp come from Rue, but I choose to ignore her- she probably received a reply from that girl.  
“Why would that be then?” he asks, bending forward and leaning on the counter, seeming genuinely interested in what I had to say on the matter, or so I told myself. “There are so many better actors who would be perfect for their roles, but they’re just assholes and get every role under the sun. It’s not fair on you.” I turn around to see him trying too hard to contain the massive grin on his face. I frown as I push the drinks towards him.  
“I’m Peeta Mellark.” he says humorously, sticking his hand out towards me. I scoff at him, although there seems to be no look of trickery on his face, a smug smile written on his lips. “Oh yeah and I’m Jennifer Lawrence pretending to be poor because I'm so quirky like that.” I laugh, flapping my hands around in an attempt to be funny and there’s an awkward smile on his face but he seems deadly serious.  
I frown, staring at him, wondering if his supposed and self-proclaimed fame is how I recognise him. No. That familiarity and unknown safety I feel around him has nothing to do with his status. All I know for definite is that this man is lying.  
I turn around as Rue tries to hide her sniggers as she hands me her phone with a google search of Peeta’s name. 

Peeta Mellark  
American actor  
Peeta Richard Mellark is an American actor. He’s best known for his role as Joshua Anderson in the Oscar nominated film, 2-4-6-8 and his portrayal of David Bowie in the Academy Award winning musical biopic, Space Oddity. Wikipedia  
Born: 15th March 1994 (age 27 years), Twelve, Panem  
Height: 1.82m  
Upcoming Movie: The Same Old Devils  
Awards: Golden Globe Award for Best Actor- Motion Picture- Drama, MORE

It was him alright.  
The picture of him smiling on the red carpet matching the same adorable smile on the man standing before me.  
I feel a thick lump in my throat as I begin to feel increasingly mortified, hating how red I was going. I was certain I was brighter than a tomato, handing Rue her phone back and turning around slowly, wiping my clammy hands on my apron.  
“I- Mr Mellark... I'm so sorry.” I stammer but he seems more humoured than anything which makes me furrow my brows at his more than strange reaction. “It’s fine Katniss, I've heard much worse things said about myself." he shakes it off, but I can hear a slight wobble in his voice.  
“Oh- I- I'm so sorry- please- let- your drinks are on the house.” I manage to say, fighting through the lump in my throat which makes every word I say sound like some stupid sob.  
“Katniss you don’t need to do that, really, it’s good to know what people really think about me. It’ll knock down my non-existent ego.” Peeta says so casually that I’m almost surprised at how humble he seems to be. It was a change from the usual celebrity who feel like they own the damn place because their name is on a cheap perfume.  
“Okay sir, I really am sorry for you know... calling you selfish and an asshole.” I say as I pour the last of the coffees into the cups and place the lids on them firmly. “That’s alright Katniss and please just call me Peeta, I feel like a pretentious twat when people call me that.” he says as he takes his card out of his wallet to pay.  
“Let me finish making your tea before you pay then Peeta.” I say, trying to appear confident and in control when all I really want to do is pretend that I'm not here and punch Rue in the face for her continuous laughing at my blunder.  
I pour the milk into his tea before stirring it with a wooden stirrer and placing the white plastic lid over the top. “And here’s your tea, let me just find some trays and a pen- Rue'll help you pay.” I say before walking around the back, needing some space to take a deep breath.  
I shut my eyes and took the deep breath that I needed before taking what I needed and returning to see Rue tending to another tired looking man. I scowl at her but Peeta stood there cheerily, smiling at me as I reappear.  
“Beginning to think you’d ran off.” he grins at me and I shake my head at him, an odd fluttering in my stomach at the thought he’d miss me. “No, I could never run away from you.” I say softly, hating myself with every word I say.  
Peeta seems to like what I said because he gives me a shy smile, one that reveals his sweet dimple once again. I coyly return the smile, putting his cups into trays and labelling them as I place them neatly into a large brown paper bag.  
“That’ll be $31.75 please.” I say, finishing typing his order into the cash register as he hands over his card, I feel an odd sensation when our fingers gently brush together.  
It starts from my fingers before it encases my hands, my wrist, up to my elbow, up to my shoulder, my chest, my stomach, both of my legs and feet until it reaches my toes. I couldn’t describe how it felt, other than it made me feel good, like nothing bad could happen to me as long as this man was holding me.  
“Would you like your receipt with that?” I ask him as the card reader accepts his card with a small beep. “Yes, thank you.” he grins as I rip the receipt off the reader and hand it over to him. I catch him staring at my lips, and for a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me. But my imagination tricks me as his eyes flick back up to mine once he notices I've caught him.  
He takes the pen I used to label the cups and writes something onto the receipt before handing it back to me. 

Peeta Mellark- 213- 259- 0897

“Th-thank you.” I mumble, beaming at the number he’s written down, an odd pull in my stomach, hating how much of a fool I felt. It was so clear how much I was crushing on him- celebrity or not.  
“I hope to see you again.” he smiles at me before taking his bag and leaving the coffee shop. I was rooted to the ground, not even able to breathe after what had just happened. Rue began shaking me excitedly after her customer left, jumping up and down.  
“That was Peeta Mellark.” she squeals, giving me an awful headache as her words pierce my eardrum. “I know who that was Rue.” I glower, trying to remain cool but inside I'm freaking out almost as much as she was.  
“Then why aren’t you freaking out? He was named People magazine’s sexiest man alive last year.” She says and I can’t deny that I can definitely see why. I bet an infinite amount of money that underneath his grey shirt there are more abs than I have fingers.  
“I’m a lesbian and even I felt my lady loins aching for him when he gave that little smirk.” she says, almost dreamily and I roll my eyes at her.  
“All you do is think with your vagina.” I scoff, pulling away from her excitable grasp. “True, but that actually gets me laid.” She laughs at me as two women came in chatting, both decked in sweat and running gear.  
Rue goes to tend to them as I felt something vibrate in my back pocket.

Gale: I was wondering if you wanted to meet up, maybe for a coffee, so we can catch up.

I frown.  
It scared me to think about seeing him again, after almost six months of absolutely no contact. However, I wanted my old friend back more than anything. It was difficult not to turn to him whenever I needed advice. He was so good at helping me with my plethora of problems, and I hated not speaking to him.

Katniss: I’ve got a lecture after my shift today, but I'm free tomorrow if that works for you.  
I got a reply almost immediately.  
Gale: Sounds like a plan!


	2. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss meets Gale for the first time in six months, both shocked at how each other's lives have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I've been having a bit of a rough day so I though that perhaps posting a chapter might cheer me up!   
> Trigger Warning: this chapter touches on eating disorders

Anxiously, I sit in the corner of the coffee shop, drumming my fingers on the table, waiting for Gale. I don't know what to expect. Would he look different? Would he sound different? Would he treat my differently? I didn't know, and that's what scared me... not knowing...  
“What’re you thinking about?” I hear a deep voice chuckle and I look up to see Gale, grinning down at me, and I'm surprised to be met with a frightened look on his face, his eyes wide with shock.   
I try to feel less uncomfortable as I shift in my seat, acting like his more than rude stare wasn’t directed at me but at the picture of coffee beans on the wall behind me.   
And as much as I don’t want to admit it because of how he had just made me feel, I would be a fool to say that he wasn’t still handsome as ever. His black hair had been smoothed back with gel, his beard shaved into a small, dark stubble and he was wearing a crisp, black suit with a black tie.   
“Nothing of your concern.” I say, standoffish and slightly colder than I mean to so I give him a small, awkward smile to show that I'm joking. “You look rather dapper; I hope you’re not this dressed up just for me.” I chuckle, but there’s an ounce of self-consciousness about the tone of my voice.   
I was dressed in straight cut jeans and a baggy green sweater, my hair finally washed and styled in a messy braid, lying limply on my shoulder. I was even wearing makeup, just some concealer to cover up my blacker than death circles- I didn’t want Gale to know that my nightmares had worsened- and my large, red spots.   
“No, I- I've just come back from a job interview.” he says nervously as he sits down in front of me. I wasn’t used to seeing this anxious side of Gale- he was usually so confident. “What was the job for?” I ask politely, drumming my fingers on the wooden table.   
“Assistant for Gloss Peridot- he's a big accountant in the Capitol.” he says anxiously, but I can tell he’s not fully invested in the conversation. He seems distracted by something on my face, and I feel myself burning under his gaze. “I’m sorry to interrupt but, is- is my makeup not blended properly or something?” I say quickly, ignoring this conversation, taking my phone out so I can see what I look like in the camera.   
“No, your makeup is perfect.” he says, but he doesn’t sound like he’s convincing himself at all. “Then what is it? I press further, despising how uneasy I felt at his shocked look.   
“No- no you just look so different that’s all.” Gale mumbles, averting his eyes from my self-conscious glare, as I wipe the concealer under my eyes, regretting wearing it as I did so. “Different?” I frown, loathing the intense burning feeling in my chest.   
“Kat- you know I didn’t mean it like that.” he sighs, reaching out to take my hand but I snatch it away. “What did you mean by it then?” I scowl at him, folding my arms, hating how vulnerable and ugly I felt with his stare and his hurtful words.   
“I- I don’t want to sound rude by pointing out.” Gale says quietly and I can’t help the nasty snigger that escapes my lips. He looks saddened, already adding to the nerves he previously felt. “Well, you’ve already stared at me like I'm a freak, not much left to say that can hurt me.” I shrug, trying to act like his words didn’t cut sharper than a blade.   
“I- Well you just look so much thinner than the last time I saw you.” he stammers, playing with the end of his tie so that he didn’t have to look at me. I find that my face grows into a huge grin at his words, overjoyed in fact. There’s a pride in my heart, an overbearing sense of glee.   
“Really?” I grin, my cheeks hurting at how wide my smile is.   
“Y-yeah.” he furrows his brows, finally looking me directly in the eyes. “You’ve- well I know it’s rude to comment on a person’s physical appearance- but you’ve lost so much weight.” he adds, concern arouses in his tone and I don’t like the way he says it. Gale’s acting like this is a bad thing, like he doesn’t want me to be thin and pretty.   
“I have- 13kg in fact!” I say, remembering the pure joy I feel standing on those scales and seeing that I had lost any little bit of weight, ignoring the soul-crushing pain I feel when I have gained. “That-that’s great.” he mumbles, looking uncomfortable as he chews his bottom lip.   
“I- I’m gonna go buy myself a coffee... can I get you one?” he asks, and I know he’s trying to create a diversion, like he was trying to escape me, and I let him. I don’t want to talk about my weight loss with him if he’s not kind enough to celebrate it with me. I resume my scowl as he stands up.   
“Gale, do you want me to buy them? I work here so I get 20% off.” I say, half wanting to escape myself, take a breather. I see Rue watching me out of the corner of her eye at the counter as she tends to a customer. “Would you mind?” he gives a small, uncertain smile, “I normally wouldn’t ask but I paid the bills yesterday so I'm a bit skint truth be told.”   
So was I.  
But I needed to get away from him, just for a few moments.   
“No problem at all.” I say and I stand up nervously as he sits down again, putting his phone and wallet on the table. “Can I just have a double espresso please, and if I give you a couple of dollars can you get me a muffin? Any's fine.” he asks, a small, kind smile returning to his face which I can’t help but return, despite how hurt I am.   
“No need to, I'm buying.” I say softly before grabbing my bag and walking over to the counter, “God that looked tense.” Rue mumbles, staring over at Gale and as I turn to look, he’s on his phone, I assume he’s texting someone, most likely Madge.   
“Yeah, but it’s nothing.” I shrug off, not wanting to go into detail about what just happened, it felt like a fresh wound. Even though I'm grateful that people have noticed my weight loss, his reaction was crueller than I thought it would be. It almost felt like he wanted me to remain fat, and ugly and unlovable.   
It hurt- a lot- almost like he had take a knife and stabbed me in the chest, twisting it agonisingly slowly in order to create as much pain as possible. Why couldn't he be happy for me?  
“It doesn’t look like nothing.” Rue shakes her head, “Black coffee, double espresso and a chocolate muffin please.” I say quickly, hoping to distract her quickly, turning away from what actually happened.   
"Katniss-"  
"I don't want to talk about it." I mumble and she reaches forward and gives my shoulder a small squeeze kindly, understanding my hurt and want for privacy. I am thankful, although all I want to do now is disappear, from Gale and from Rue. She makes my order, not mentioning Gale once, just babbling about that girl again and how she came in for a coffee this morning. It reminded me of Peeta Mellark, the man I made yesterday.   
Oddly, I begin to long for him, wishing that he was here, and I could see his kind and warm grin, his small dimples shining on his cheeks. But I'm trapped with Gale, loathing how I feel around him now- ashamed and insecure.  
“Hey.” he smiles up at me. “Thanks Kat, I owe you next time okay?” he grins as I place his espresso and muffin in front of him. Sitting opposite him, I take long sips of my coffee in silence, neither of us quite knowing what to say.   
“So, what’ve you been up to these past few months anyways?” he says finally, filling our screaming silence with small words, and I am almost thankful for this, although I hate talking about myself- I always feel so vain. “A lot, yet nothing at all.” I chuckle awkwardly.   
“Please elaborate.” Gale gives a small smile before taking a sip of his drink, “Shit that’s hot.” he says quickly, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, almost as if he was panting like a dog.  
“I mean that is kinda the point of buying a hot drink. It's sort of in the job description.” I say smugly as I slurp my coffee noisily. “Smart arse.” he chuckles, obviously deciding to wait for his espresso to cool down as he pushes it away from him and licks his lip at the chocolate muffin.   
“That’s me.” I give a cocky smile.   
Ignoring the desperation I have to tear the muffin from his hands and scoff it whole, filling my aching stomach, I give him an almost endearing look as he picks the chocolate chunks from his muffin, eating them whole. It made me miss him so much more, even if we're sitting just inches away from each other.   
I miss our conversations. I miss the way he’d smile at me when I said something dumb. I miss the stupid little rituals he has, like shutting all the windows in the house before going to sleep. And I miss how great he is at giving me advice. I guess I just miss him in general.   
I want my best friend back.   
“Gale, what happened?” I find myself asking before I can truly think about the consequences of what I'm asking him. Gale stops his munching and looks up at me, a nervous look on his face and I can see him thinking over the answer. “What do you mean?” he asks back, even though he knows what I'm asking. And it seems like he was thinking the exact same thing, the thing neither of us particularly wanted to talk about. But it would be awkward if we just ignored it and acted like everything was normal.   
“I mean.” I say, sterner than I meant to, “I- I mean.” I repeat, my voice softer this time, “Why aren’t we friends like we used to?” Gale shrugs.   
“I don’t know. I always thought it was because you were jealous- you know- of me and Madge.” he says awkwardly, and I let out a deep breath, my heart tensing uncomfortably, like it had stopped beating.   
“I was.” I admit to him in a small voice, hating myself as I say so. I look into my lap so that I don’t have to see his reaction. “Katniss, I will always love you, but we aren’t right for each other.” Gale says softly and I nod, though I can feel a small scowl appearing on my face.   
“I know that Gale... I just hated the thought that there was someone else you needed more than me.” I tell him, loathing how I have to admit this. But I knew that if we had a shot at being friends once more, we needed to talk through it all, maybe not in as much detail as he wanted, but enough so that it wouldn’t be awkward and uncomfortable.   
“Katniss, I need you- of course I do.” Gale says softly, and I can’t help the smile that appears on my face at the thought that someone wants me, someone needs me. “Just because I am dating Madge, doesn’t mean I want to stop being friends with you. I just didn’t message you because... because I thought you needed some time to yourself.”   
“Thanks, but I'm fine really, I don’t want any more time to myself. I want us to be proper friends again, like ones that actually talk to each other.” I say, finally looking up at his warm, yet serious face. “I am over you; I want to make that clear.” I add, my voice slightly louder than before and Gale chuckles.   
“Damaging my ego so early in the day Miss Everdeen?” he offers a smile which I can’t help returning, glad that the tension had eased a bit after our brief conversation. I know that we’ll need to discuss it again, more in depth than we have now. But not in public- later.   
“So- how is things with Madge?” I ask him, trying to push forward the conversation and show him that I am completely supportive of him. “It’s good. We’ve been dating for nearly seven months, I met her parents a few weeks ago.” he says, resuming eating his muffin, tearing off bits and popping them in his mouth.   
“How was it? Did you cock it up?” I ask, sipping my coffee as I remember how he first met my stepdad, Haymitch. Gale was nervous and accidentally knocked his antique decanter off the shelf when he was trying to grab a book for my mother. Although Haymitch was a recovering alcoholic, that decanter has been in his family for generations apparently, which meant that when Gale broke it, Haymitch had some very choice words for him. Telling him something that I don’t think I could ever repeat because they were that uncouth, and Gale ended up giving him a hundred dollars as an apology.   
“No, not this time thank God.” he shakes his head humorously as he apprehensively picks up his coffee cup. “Close to it though. I did nearly spill my wine on their carpet when I clinked glasses with Madge a bit too vigorously.” I raise my eyebrows as he smirks, sipping his double espresso, which must’ve cooled down by now.   
“Forget what Haymitch said to you, they would’ve thrown you out then and there- I definitely would’ve.” I chuckle and he shoots me mock daggers as I sip my coffee. “What happened to you being my supportive best friend again?” he raises his brows, folding his arms like he’s in some sort of sitcom.   
“I’m not going to support you in destroying my carpet- do you know how annoying it is to get a wine stain out?” I say, mimicking his move, “Last time I was on a date, he spilled wine all over my carpet and needless to say, I may have lost my temper more than I should've.” I giggle, picturing Darius’ face as I unfairly yelled at him, his face growing the same colour as both the wine and his hair.   
“A date did you say?” Gale asks nosily, wiggling his eyebrows at me in a jokey, flirtatious manner. “Not like that- well- not with him anyways.” I say, shutting down any rumours of one-night stands before Gale could even conjure up any images of me doing something very non-PG-13.   
“Not with him?” he presses further, delighting in the fact that my scowl grew more vicious. Gale knew that I wasn’t the most comfortable in my sexuality, never liking to speak about sex, let alone engage in it.   
Gale and I barely got past second base, with me getting too freaked out when he unbuttoned my jeans, so we had to stop, much to his silent disappointment- though he never yelled at me or blamed me.   
Those urges I had for Peeta was the only time I have ever wanted to do something like that with anyone. It was odd, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him burying his head between my thighs, raking through his blonde, curly hair with my hands.   
“I- I met this guy- I think he’s interested but I'm too scared to say anything.” I surprisingly tell him, secretly hoping that he’d convince me into texting him. Plus, it would be good to have a guy’s advice on Peeta and what would be the best thing to do.   
“What makes you think that he’s interested in you?”   
“He- I don’t know- he was kind- and- and talkative, it might just be me, but he seemed almost flirtatious- smirking and sort of teasing me. And he did give me his number...” I stumble out awkwardly, not looking him in the eye as I spoke.   
“And you’re too scared to say anything because...?” Gale quirks his brow almost like Peeta had done, but not as distinctly.   
“Because what if he doesn’t like me like that and I'm just imagining all of this.” I admit and Gale titters, shaking his head at me. “That guy clearly likes you. What’s he like when texting? You can tell a lot from how he texts you.” Gale asks, seeming more interested in talking about me and my problems than his own.   
“I- well I haven’t texted him yet.” I mumble and Gale looks at me like I've grown an extra head or something. “Kat are you an idiot?” he says rather loudly so that some people on the tables nearby turn to stare at us.   
“Shut up Hawthorne.” I hiss, leaning in to ensure that no one else can hear us. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t scream out about my dumb crush on a guy that’s never going to like me back in a million years.” I give him a snarky look.   
“Okay, you are officially an idiot.” Gale sighs, rolling his eyes. “Gale this man is the definition of perfect. He’s rich, good job, long list of sexy ex-girlfriends that make me look like a shoe brush.” I huff, remembering my google search yesterday, hating how insecure I felt looking at him so happy with those women, knowing that I could never compete with the likes of Celestia Snow.  
“So? He flirted with you and gave you his number for a reason. Just text him.” Gale says firmly and I can’t stop myself from taking my phone out, causing a huge smile to bloom on his face. “Atta girl.” he cheers quietly.   
I take out the receipt from my bag and type Peeta into my contacts, almost trembling with nerves as I did so. “What do I say?” I ask him and Gale shrugs him shoulders. “Something like who you are, and I small ‘hi, how are you?’” Gale suggests and I give an anxious smile as I type exactly that into the text box before sending it. 

Katniss: Hey Peeta, it’s Katniss Everdeen, from the coffee shop, how are you? 

I quickly turn off my phone and bury it and the receipt at the bottom of my bag so that I didn’t even have to think about his reply. But of course, I do. It’s the only thing I think about. I try to tell myself that the lack of response was due to his schedule- he was busy. He was an actor, filming a movie. Peeta was obviously busy.   
“He’s not texting you back because he’s not interested” my brain tries to sabotage the little hope I have. “Shut up” I tell myself angrily, not wanting my dumb inner thoughts to ruin this for me.   
I tried to continue my day like normal- finishing my catch up with Gale before a two-hour shift at the Espresso Express then working on my essay at the library until it shut. But Peeta’s imminent reply was at the forefront of my mind- his non-existent reply almost taunting me. And I hated how it made me feel. 

Peeta: Oh hey! Sorry for the late reply, long day at work. Tell me all about yours whilst I make myself a cup of tea. 

I grab my phone in nerves and excitement as I see his notification illuminate my dark bedroom. Waiting for a few moments before texting him back, I think about what exactly I'm going to say. I didn’t want to go into too much detail, but I couldn’t be too vague so that it seemed like I wasn’t interested. 

Katniss: It was actually very tedious, except from a coffee with an old friend. Idk if you went to University, but a lot of it is writing essays and working part time jobs, not very glamorous at all. 

Peeta: Sounds awful. Pick a day and I promise to make it more exciting. 

Katniss: What could be more thrilling than having to remake drinks because angry mom’s in their late forties are mad I put in two pumps of vanilla in instead of three? 

Peeta: That does sound like the epitome of thrilling I have to admit, but I was thinking more, spending time with me? 

He was asking me out.   
Peeta Mellark wanted to take me out on a date. Could I count it as a date or was it just hanging out as friends?

Katniss: Depends when, I've got a 3000-word essay on developmental immunology that is unfortunately due Monday. 

Peeta: Fortunately for you, I am free Sunday evening so I can help you write it, perhaps make you dinner too? 

My face falls when I read the word dinner. I can’t eat it. I know I'm going to stuff my face and ruin three weeks of careful dieting, without any binge eating. But then I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. If I don’t accept his invitation, he might never ask me out again. This is my one shot. Perhaps I could just convince him to make us a small meal- nothing too grand and extravagant so that I wouldn’t be stuffing my mouth with unnecessary calories. 

Katniss: I’d like that. My place or yours? 

Peeta: It might be easier to write it at yours, cos you’ve got all your textbooks and notes there, and it might be inconvenient to lug it back and forth. 

Peeta: If that’s okay with you that is? 

Katniss: Yeah, that’s more than okay with me. I look forward to it.


End file.
